OCD. To me, these three daunting letters used to stand for something else.
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Constantly worrying, constantly over thinking. What if? What if not?
Every moment of every day, my mind was running. Over thinking was my thing. And it was a thing I was really good at. Over the years, I had programmed my mind to automatically think of and plan for THE WORST possible outcome in any and every situation. I would plan and execute ways to deal with the worst thing that may happen. Do you know how TIRING that is? I used to sleep, A LOT. Partly because the antidepressants I was taking made me so tired, but also because that was basically the only time I wasn’t worrying.
There’s nothing I can do about my over active mind and over thinking. It’s a part of who I am. Its in my blood, its how my brain was wired to work.
But , there is something I can do about WHAT I am thinking about. This past year, my OCD has been so much easier to deal with. I find that the thoughts that used to consume me, don’t have an effect on me so much anymore. I have found a way to use all of this energy, and to transform it into beauty.
If you would have asked me two years ago if I ever would want to start my own business, the answer would be FLAT OUT NO. No over thinking needed. I was never going to be a business owner. Its too much stress, too hard to handle. I couldn’t do it.
WRONG. I was so wrong. And I keep proving myself wrong every day. In a good way!
Today, I am a business owner. I have created a brand. I create every day. I obsess about my creations, and I use my obsessive creative thoughts to fuel my business.